Wrong.

I shudder lightly as I hear the thunder rumbling overhead.  It’s starting to rain and I’m afraid that he’ll get sick if he comes tonight.  We’ve found a secret spot near the boat house, there’s a small room just enough to house a bed and some other items we need for our little trysts. 

This is the last time, that I’m

Ever gonna come here tonight
This is the last time, I will fall
Into a place that fails us all,

Inside...

The door swings open quickly and with it my head follows and he’s standing there wet and his hair is matted lightly to his forehead and he sees me standing by the wall my arms wrapped around myself as he strides towards me, no snarky remarks, no insults he just grabs me into his embrace crushing our mouths together and kisses me so passionately and I don’t even realize that he has me dangling lightly off of the ground, my feet barely brushing the stone floor.

No words.  Just Ron and I basking in the warmth that is only for us.

~*~

And I can see the pain in you
And I can see the love in you
But fighting all the demons

Will take time, it will take time...

He pulls on his maroon jumper.  His Weasley jumper, when’s mum ever going to realize I hate maroon.  He glances at his roommates and sees that everyone is still asleep and he quietly opens the door to go and meet him.

As he creeps down the stairs he notices that someone is sitting by the fire and he sighs heavily, she’s waiting for him.  He tries to creep out, but she turns just as his foot hits the bottom step.

“Ronald – you know this has got to stop.” she says turning in her chair.

He runs his hand through his hair and shoves his hands into his pocket, “I’m just going to get a snack, Hermione.”

“Sure – a blond Slytherin snack, didn’t know the house elves served that kind of food.”

He rolls his eyes, “Look – you wouldn’t understand.” and you attempt to leave.

She stands putting her book on the chair and comes towards you.  “You’re only going to end up getting hurt, Malfoy is different than us – war is upon us and he’s chosen a side and so have you – this is all going to end badly.”

The Angels they burn inside for us
Are we ever, are we ever gonna learn

To fly, the Devils they burn inside of us
Are we ever gonna come back down
Come around, I’m always gonna worry

About the things that could make us cold...

She’s right and that just pisses you off to no end.  But, it’s none of her business and you want to tell her this, but you can’t help that a part of you knows that all that she’s saying is what you’ve been saying all along.

“I know, Hermione – let me just have one last night.”

She nods and hugs him lightly.  “See that it is Ron, because if your family or Harry found out, they’d be so livid and hurt.”

You nod and then walk through the portrait hole, annoying the fat lady as she grumbles about being bothered from her dream about monks and wine.  Whatever the hell that means.

It starts to rain once you get outside the castle.  Deftly avoiding all the prefects patrolling and Filch and his fucking cat.  You once thought that the rain was God’s tears to cleanse the earth of all it’s impurities; you wish it was true now, because you’d dance in it and cleanse your soul.  Make Draco do it too. 

It’s wrong, everyone says it is.  But why is it?  No one’s given you good reason why.  Well, Hermione is the only one that knows, because if the others did, they’d scream at him; maybe even make him undergo some stupid tests to see if he was under Imperious.  Or some love potion, you shudder remembering your bought with Romilda’s concoction, you still have to get the twins back for that.  Another time.  Right now you need him.

This is the last time, that I’m ever gonna

Give in tonight, are there angels or devils

Crawling here, I just want to know what

Blurs and what is clear, to see...

You’re pretty drenched when you burst through the door and he’s standing there against the wall, holding himself and he looks so innocent, so vulnerable and so beautiful.  He’s got that look, the look he’s been giving you for awhile now, he’s worried and it’s as if he knows.  You rush to him and grab him into your arms and kiss him with the passion that only he ignites inside of you and you’ve picked him up off of the ground, he’s so light in your arms. 

“Ron,” he whispers lightly when you pull your mouth away.

You nod and then with his feet dangling, you carry him to the bed and lay him down.  Standing over him you begin to take your clothes off, the Weasley jumper falling first, next go the trousers that were once Bill’s.  All the while he’s watching you and he’s got this look on his face, the appreciative look he gets when he sees your body, he’s told you time and time again how he loves your body.  And you love his and want to see more.

Still I can see the pain in you
And I can see the love in you
And fighting all the demons

Will take time, it will take time...

He’s only wearing these blue pyjama bottoms and you tug them off, his white tank top was thrown off first.  He’s so beautiful.

“Ron,” he whispers again.

You smile and you cover his body with yours and just like that, you’re lost in your own world.  A world where Draco is the light in all of the darkness around and inside of you.

~*~

I stretch completely sated.  He always does this to me, makes me feel so weak and wonderful at the same time.  I reach out to him, but he’s not there.  I pull my pants on and see his jumper and pull it on, it’s so big on me, it covers my hands and it makes me smile as I lean in and take a deep breath.  Ron.  The jumper smells just like Ron, like sandalwood and when the rain has first hit a freshly mowed lawn, clean.  Pure, exactly like my Ron.

The door is open a crack and I can see him leaning against the boat house, just watching the rain fall.  I walk towards him and I reach out to him and he just stands there as I put my fingers on his waist band trying to drag him into my arms. 

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

He still stares off.  “This has to end.” his voice is so low that I swear that I’ve heard him wrong.

The Angels they burn inside for us
Are we ever, are we ever gonna learn

To fly, the Devils they burn inside of us
Are we ever gonna come back down
Come around, I’m always gonna

Worry about the things that could

Break us...

“I’m sorry?”

He won’t look at me and it’s making me scared.  Because he’s actually serious, “I am too, it’s done.”

I wrap my arms around myself, my head drops as I watch the rain fall, it’s windy as well so the rain is blowing lightly and I see some fall at my bare feet making prints on the stone floor.  Then I realize it’s not the rain...it's my tears.

“Why?”

He clears his throat and he coughs lightly.  “It’s wrong.”

“Do you think it’s wrong?” my is voice soft, trying to hide the shaking.

“It’s not up to us.” he finally moves and starts to walk away and I realize that he’s just going off without his jumper.

“Your jumper.” I say moving towards him, both of us getting soaked.

If I was to give in, I’d give it up
And then, take a breath, make it deep,

Cause it might be the last one you get,

Be the last one, that could make us cold...

He stops, but doesn’t look back.  “It’s yours.”

Then he begins to walk again and I can’t just let him leave, I don’t want to let him leave.  This is the only thing in my life that is pure, that is sacred, that is all my own.

“RON!” I bellow not caring that my voice carries my sorrow.

He turns and I see him smile and then I smile.  The small distance separates us by what others would think if they knew. 

We both smile.  And then he nods and turns running into the rainy night.

You know that they could make us cold,

I’m always gonna worry about the things

That could make us cold...

~*~

When I approach Draco in the Great Hall the next day and take his hand before he goes to sit with the Slytherins and as everyone is either gasping out of shock, or in Harry’s case screaming and being restrained by Hermione, I realize that no one has given me a good enough answer to end what I have with Draco. 

And as I pull him into my arms and place a hand on his cheek and one at his waist as I kiss him, I realize that if someone did have a very rational and good argument as to why I shouldn’t be with Draco Malfoy, I’d probably tell them to ‘Piss Off’.  Correction, I would definitely tell them to ‘Piss Off’ because what I have with Draco is not wrong. 

In fact it’s the only thing in my life that I have ever done right.

.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

The End...correction it’s The Beginning...